From unpacking boxes to unpacking priorities - what the last few weeks have taught me

The more observant among you may have noticed that you haven’t had an email or blog from me for the last few weeks. Pretty much unheard of in the five years since I launched my coaching business, even when I was going through cancer treatment.
 
I was toying with calling this blog, "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" as there have certainly been ups and downs over the last few weeks. Let’s start with the good. I moved back into my own house after two wonderful friends finished decorating it for me. I’m now living with beautiful décor that I chose. And I’m really looking forward to finishing the unpacking and getting all the pictures I’ve collected over the last few years up on the walls.
 
That said I’m currently surrounded by boxes that need unpacking. There are doors that need rehanging after the new flooring was fitted. There are curtain poles and curtains that need to be put up. It will be fabulous when it’s all finished but I have to admit I’m struggling. Those of you who have been through cancer treatment will know that post-treatment fatigue is very real and tough to deal with. The last few weeks have been hard and have really brought it home to me how much less I’m capable of doing than I used to be. Add in some sort of virus and I had one whole week when I couldn’t do anything at all. Hence the radio silence the last two weeks.
 
I have to admit that there have been moments over the last few weeks when I’ve felt like I’m existing rather than living. Waking every morning and trying to work out what I can or can’t manage to do before the energy runs out.  I’ve missed out on things that I’d been looking forward to for months as I didn't have the energy to do them. It isn’t fun and it feels very unfair. I have to be really compassionate with myself, which isn’t always easy. If I’m not careful I find myself berating the fact I can no longer power through and get things done, not without major consequences that is. My body lets me know in no uncertain terms that it’s had enough and if I don’t listen I can pay the price for days.
 
That said there have been some positives come from a very tricky few weeks. It’s made me really lean into self-care and make sure I’m prioritising what’s most important to me. I’ve still managed to work and coach my clients but it’s made me re-examine and question everything I do because I want to live, not just exist in order to work.
 
So that’s why there’s been no emails the last couple of weeks. I gave myself permission to stop and prioritise myself and my health. I’ve also made some decisions about how I’m going to work going forward.
 
First, I absolutely love running my free “Who am I now and what’s next?” coffee and coaching sessions but they are so much work. I’d already taken the decision to hold them every other month going forward and I had planned our next session for 16th December. However, I’ve decided that I’m pushing it back to 20th January to give myself a bit more space in the run up to Christmas. If you’re on the mailing list for the sessions you’ll get an email confirming the date and time with the link you need. If you’re not on the list and want to be click here.
 
Second, my word for this year is flourish and the last few weeks it hasn’t felt like I have been. So, every day I now wake up and ask myself what needs to be done and what I want to do purely because it will nourish me and make me feel good. I then work out how I can make sure that I have the energy left to do that. If, like me, you too live with fatigue you know how easy it can be for you to get through your work, your chores, all the adult stuff and be running on fumes before you even get around to doing something just for yourself. Now I’m working on making sure there is energy left for me. And that looks like questioning everything I do, how I do it and why I do it.

That may sound like a lot of work but it has been so liberating. Letting myself off having to write a blog every other week and send you an email every week. That was my self-imposed rule! Reminding myself that good enough is in fact good enough and I don’t have to keep editing and tweaking what I write. I don’t always get it right. I’m definitely a work in progress but I am doing my best to make life not just easier but better.
 
If you’re finding life a bit much at the moment, whether it’s because you too have fatigue or a long-term health condition, or you’re over-stretched in the run up to Christmas, I recommend getting very intentional. Every morning ask yourself what really does have to be done. Are there any self-imposed rules that you are keeping without realising it? Remind yourself that keeping back some time and energy for fun and self-care is vital and work out how you can do it. Remind yourself that good enough is good enough. It’s so easy to get sucked into self-imposed rules about how things have to be in the run up to Christmas. Look after yourself, make sure you’re living not just existing.
 
On that note I’m switching off my laptop, getting out my knitting and it’s time to catch-up on this week’s episode of Great British Bake Off.