How do you make decisions?

If I told you that the teachings of a 16th century Saint hold the secrets to your clarity and courage today, would you want to know more?

We all make hundreds, if not thousands of decisions every day. Most of the time we don’t even register that we’re making a decision. What we choose becomes a habit whether it’s the number of times we hit the snooze button, what coffee we order or whether we brush our teeth or shower first? (Always teeth first for me btw.)

Then there are the decisions that do require some thought. Do I need to stop for fuel? Where shall we go on holiday this year? What to cook for dinner guests.

And then, there are the really big decisions. Job changes, career changes, whether to relocate, should I apply for that promotion, should I start my own business? These are the decisions that feel life changing. The decisions that feel like they will affect your life or the life of your family for years, not just for the next few hours or for a couple of weeks. It’s when faced with these decisions that we can become paralysed, stuck in indecision, going round and round the options for days, weeks, months or worse. Or until the decision is taken out of our hands because the deadline passes or someone else gets in there first. Being stuck in that indecision is exhausting as it takes up so much mental energy. And often, when we’ve made the decision we still stay in that cycle, second guessing whether we have in fact made the right choice.

There are times when we have absolute clarity about what it is that we should do, what the right decision is, but we are so fearful of the consequences that we still don’t take that decision. And that fear of consequences can keep us in choices that don’t work for us. Choices that keep us playing small. I wrote about one such occasion in my blog last week. I knew that I needed to leave my job, but I was terrified of the consequences – how would it look on my CV, what would other people think, how would I pay my mortgage? Those fears kept me in indecision and in the end the decision was taken out of my hands – I gave away my power.

But, I’m no longer the woman who is paralysed by big decisions in life. In fact seven years ago, the day I found out I was facing redundancy from my dream job, I had my moment of clarity – the knowledge of what I needed to do next within twenty minutes of starting my drive home. Two days later I’d decided what I was going to do and how I was going to start. It was big, it was scary but I knew with absolute certainty that’s what I needed to do next.

What had changed? I’d been introduced to the teachings of St Ignatius of Loyola and the Cycle of Discernment. I’d learnt a process where I could discern the right path to take with confidence. Even when the decision, the path itself was new, way out of my comfort zone and more than a little scary I knew I could trust that decision. Why? Because the Cycle of Discernment gave me a process to follow that enables me to make a decision grounded in my values, made with my head and my heart. It enables me to tap into my inner wisdom and trust it. It encourages me to ask for guidance from God and from people I trust.

So often in the past I'd looked for outer guidance and inner wisdom but had written off the answers I received as wishful thinking, impractical or too risky and I didn’t give them the attention they deserved. That kept me playing small. Now I’m able to examine the ideas I receive properly and come to a decision that I’m able to hold lightly. And that’s important. Gone is my paralysing determination that I have to make the best decision – often resulting in the small option or no decision at all. Instead I know that using the Cycle of Discernment I have made the right decision for right now and I will keep revisiting where I am, discern again and alter course as necessary. I hold the decision lightly and can act with clarity, courage and confidence.

I’m passionate about sharing this method of discernment with my clients. I believe that it’s such a wonderful way to make those big life decisions with relative ease and confidence. Although in the Ignatian tradition prayer, looking to God and your faith for guidance is an essential part of the process I believe that there is much to be gained from the process even for those who have no faith or a very different spirituality.

I combine discernment with coaching to provide a powerful way to help those I work with to move forward, to create a life that is rich, fulfilling and fully aligned with their values. I believe that we should be living the life that lights us up now, not at some undefined point in the future. No more worrying about which is the right path. No more putting off decisions so that we’re still in the same place feeling stuck and frustrated this time next year.

What decisions do you need to make? Where do you want to be by this time next year? Feel free to book a twenty minute exploratory call to see how I could help.