"I'm not important enough to prioritise"
“I’m not important enough to prioritise”
Most of the time when I’m working with clients these words aren’t spoken out loud. Instead they are inferred by other statements.
I can’t do that because the kids need me.
I can’t do that because I shouldn’t be spending money on myself.
I can’t do that because it wouldn’t be fair on my partner if he had to cook when he gets in from work.
I can’t do that because I should be available for the children’s bath time.
As women we’re trained – consciously or unconsciously – to be of service to others. We put the needs of others before our own. We stop even thinking about it.
When I start hearing these statements and many others like them and we dig down into them there is often a lot of guilt going on. Feelings of guilt for expecting other people to do things we normally do. Feelings of guilt for time away from the children. Guilt for spending money on our needs.
I was speaking with a woman recently about her desire to take just half an hour to an hour to herself a few times a week. When thinking about the reality of the situation rather than just her interpretation of it she realised three things:
Her child probably wouldn’t even notice!
Her husband would encourage it if she actually told him that’s what she wanted.
The reason she wasn’t already doing it was because she didn’t actually think that she was important enough to prioritise.
That last one was a brave thing to admit and stopped her in her tracks. How had she become bottom of the list of all the family priorities?
I think a lot of us fall into this trap. We just haven’t articulated it. I don’t have children but as I shared last week when I first started my business I put my needs and what was important to me at the bottom of a very long list of what my clients needed. My health and well-being really suffered as a result. I never said the words but the message I was giving to myself day in and day out was “I’m not important enough to prioritise.”
I felt moved to write about this now because life has shifted for all of us over the last few months. Even if you haven’t been furloughed, or worse, lost your job, we’re now living in a very different world than we were just a few short months ago. It’s more important than ever to ensure that we’re prioritising ourselves in these circumstances. It isn’t selfish. When we’re looking after ourselves and our needs it makes us a happier mum, partner, friend, colleague, entrepreneur, manager, daughter. It’s also modelling that way of being to our children and everyone else in our life.
They say that you can’t pour from an empty cup and that’s so very true. So let’s stop behaving as though that’s what is expected of us.
I specialise in helping my clients build their confidence so that they can live the life that lights them up. And this means having the confidence to set healthy boundaries, to ask for what you need, to prioritise your needs and model that behaviour to those around you. I had one client who found the confidence to stop for lunch every day at work. It may not sound like a big thing, but she knew that it would transform the rest of her day. It took courage not only to stop for lunch but to leave her office and go to the staff room to eat it. She was owning the fact she needed and was taking a proper break. She felt so much better for it and it gave her the confidence and courage to make the bigger changes in her life too. And as an added bonus within a couple of weeks she noticed other colleagues start to do the same. One even told her that it was seeing her stop for lunch that had given her the confidence to do the same.
Women having the confidence to do what they need to create a life that works for them is so important to me that I want to impact more women than I can just working with one-to-one clients. So, I’m very excited to launch my signature course, Your Pathway to Confidence, Clarity & Courage to help you to live a life that lights you up.
Your Pathway to Confidence, Clarity and Courage is a five-week programme designed to give you the knowledge and tools to build your confidence, get real clarity about what you want from your life and why and then move into courageous action making real progress on something that’s important to you. Even if you have a full and busy life!
Click here to find out more and book your spot.
Imagine having the confidence, clarity and courage to start taking action towards what you want.
Increased confidence levels so that you can trust your decisions and pursue your dreams.
More understanding about what makes you tick and the tools to ensure your mind is working for you, not against you.
Clarity about what you want from life and why, so that there will be nothing holding you back from taking action to get you there.
Having taken courageous action towards creating the life you dream of so that you can finally feel like you’re on your life’s path, not someone else’s!
How will it feel to know that you’re confident, in control, taking action and looking forward to the future you’re shaping for yourself?
This course is for you if
You’re ready to stop making excuses because you know you only get one life and this isn’t a dress rehearsal!
You’re ready to create the life that lights you up.
You’re ready to overcome anything holding you back so you can feel joy.
You’re ready to feel excited about life and take action.
And this course is for you even if you’re super busy, feeling overwhelmed, stressed or totally uninspired by life right now!
The course runs from 27th July until 30th August. Here’s the link to find out more and book your place now.
This is the launch and as a thank you for being in the first cohort of participants the investment in yourself, your confidence and a richer more fulfilling life is just £247 for five weeks of teaching, support and growth. It will never be this low again. Sign up now and there is an option of two monthly payments of £129.
Click here today to secure your place and start living a life that lights you up.
I'm really looking forward to being part of your journey to confidence, clarity and courage and the life that lights you up!
