Making time for you!

We’re three weeks into a new year. The run up to Christmas is a frantic time for many of us and as we launch headlong into the new year it’s very easy to get swept up into all the good intentions of New Year resolutions, health kicks, new term, new projects…the list goes on. It’s also a time of year when the days are short, there are coughs, colds, flu and worse doing the rounds and if we’re not careful we end up sick, burnt out and thoroughly fed up. As such I thought that it would be a good time to revisit something I wrote about the importance of me-time.

There are often common themes with the women I work with. One that comes up time and again is the importance of me-time and the difficulty in carving it out. We hear a lot about work-life balance but I have an issue with that. It always conjures up the image of a playground seesaw with work at one end and the rest of my life on the other. For me that looks and feels so out of balance before we even start as it implies a 50-50 spit. The idea that work takes up half of life and everything else has to be fitted into the other half.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all about balance. In fact it’s one of my most important core values. However, I want a balance across my life, not just work/life. I know that I need to keep an eye on all areas of my life to feel in balance. When I’m working with my one-to-one coaching clients we use the wheel of life to examine each area of their life. This segments of the wheel can include family, romantic relationship, work, finances, home environment, friendships, fun/leisure and health for example, but it's honed to each client’s needs. We then look at how she’d like life to be in each of those areas and how it actually is, before deciding where energy needs to be focused to start bringing about the changes she wants to create.

Looking at the completed wheel gives a really good visual of what’s out of balance in our lives. I did this exercise a couple of years ago and my health segment was so out of balance with everything else that it really pushed me into taking much better care of myself. A few changes around the choices I was making day-to-day – prioritising sleep, getting out for lunchtime walks, cutting out sugar etc. and life began to improve in other areas too because I was better rested, had more energy, was eating more nutritious food.

My clients are often busy mums. When they look at their wheel of life they often realise that the areas that are feeling out of balance and neglected are often the ones that require me-time. Time to meet up with friends, to visit the hairdresser, to get out for a run or go to the gym.

Me-time is not all about disappearing on spa days, although there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s the time that allows us to focus on the things that matter to us personally. It’s the time that gives us mental and physical respite. It’s the time that lets us reconnect with who we are and what’s important to us. It’s the time that allows our minds to slow down before we try to get to sleep. It's the time that allows us to listen to our inner wisdom.

Often my clients tell me that they really need some me-time but they just can’t see how they can fit anything else into their full life. This often stems from an all or nothing mentality. If I can’t have a whole day or half a day then what’s the point? However, I have clients who've realised that carving out 15 minutes to concentrate on themselves and what’s important to them has made a huge difference to them feeling in balance. One client realised that the 15 minutes it takes to walk home after she drops her daughter at school is me-time. She loves being outside and seeing the changing seasons and instead of seeing this as something to be hurried through as she rushes to the next task on that day’s list, she’s realised it’s a wonderful opportunity to be mindful and think.

Me-time is about giving yourself space to do the things that you enjoy. It doesn’t matter whether that is exercise, being pampered or doing a little work on your side hustle. It’s what’s important to you that matters, not what anyone else’s idea of well-used me-time is. What is important is that you find ways to fit it into your week to create the life balance that suits you and your circumstances in this season of your life.

So, how are you going to ensure that you prioritise the things that are important to you personally and carve out a little me-time that allows you to do them? Whether it’s an early night, a soak in the bath, a run, time to do your nails or read a chapter of your book? Have a think and be intentional about it. You’ll thank yourself for making the effort in the end!