Nurture not torture - Upping our self-care
This can be a tough time of year. Christmas is behind us and it seems a long way off until the clocks go forward and the days begin to get noticeably warmer and lighter.
Decades ago a travel company came up with the gimmick of calling the third Monday in January blue Monday – supposedly the most miserable Monday of the year. Gimmick or not I know a lot of us feel a little blue on January Mondays heading into the new working week. I have to confess that there have been January Mondays when, despite being in a job I loved, I started the day with a little cry at home! With this is mind I decided that this would be a great week for us to focus on upping the self-care and really nurturing ourselves.
There are all sorts of northern European words bandied around at this time of year, all variations on a theme of being cosy. I really got into the idea of winter cosiness after my mum returned from a February trip to Iceland and reported that the fairy lights were still up everywhere. Cafes still served mulled wine and wintery drinks – they hadn’t all been wiped off the menus and specials boards on 1st January. They celebrated winter. They embraced the dark and cold by choosing to bring warmth and light into it, not just for Christmas but the whole season.
We can make that same choice any time we like. I have a lovely book, The Little Book of Hygge – The Danish Way to Live Well by Meik Wiking. The introduction begins, “Hooga? Hhyooguh? Heurgh? It’s not important how you choose to pronounce or even spell ‘hygge’. To paraphrase one of the greatest philosophers of our time – Winnie-the-Pooh – when asked how to spell a certain emotion, ‘You don’t spell it, you feel it.’”
Wiking goes on to say that “hygge is about an atmosphere and an experience, rather than about things.” As I write this I’ve created a very cosy atmosphere. I’m wearing warm, comfortable clothes and have a hot rooibos red chai tea in one of my favourite mugs. A lovely scented candle is burning and the fairy lights are on. I feel safe, warm and relaxed.
Whenever life is hard for any reason or we’re feeling vulnerable or out of sorts our first reaction should be to up our self-care – the things that we know do us good. This is about body, mind and soul. And although sometimes self-care does mean doing the things that are good for us that we don’t necessarily enjoy it should be about nurture not torture! We all know that we need to get out in the fresh air and daylight and move our bodies but that doesn’t mean you have to do it in a way you hate. If you love a run on a cold crisp morning fantastic, but it you know that a lie-in followed by an afternoon walk with a good friend with a promise of a coffee and cake at the end will make you much happier, then do that!
Mind coming up a blank when you try to think of self-care beyond the oft quoted “have a bubble bath and light a candle” then consider these questions:
How can I enjoy the outdoors?
How can I nourish my body?
How can I nourish my mind?
How can I celebrate the season?
How can I connect with others and spend time with the people I love?
How can I rest?
As you answer think about how you can feed all your senses – smell, touch, taste, hearing, sight. One of the things I love to do is linger over a meal with family or friends. It’s an opportunity to rest, to nourish body and mind, to connect and to celebrate the season with seasonal food.
How can you celebrate the season by upping your self-care and really nurturing yourself right now?
If you haven’t already I’d love you to come over and join my free facebook group. It’s a lovely supportive group of like-minded women. I offer lots of ideas and prompts for improving not only your confidence but things like your self-care too. Click here to join the conversation.
