What is confidence?

It’s a rare client who doesn’t tell me that she’d like to feel more confident. We look at other women and say, “If only I could be as confident as her, then nothing would stop me.” The fact is though, we don’t know what's going on inside that person. What stories she's telling herself about her own confidence compared to those around her. She may also feel like she's winging it, about to be caught out. Her stomach may be churning with nerves but in your eyes she's the epitome of confidence.

So what is confidence and why do we all want more of it?

The dictionary definition is “the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something”. In other words, in order to have confidence in yourself, you have to have faith in yourself, you have to trust yourself. And for me, this is at the heart of it. Having someone tell me that if I wear my favourite outfit, put on my red lipstick and wear heels then I will feel confident is mere window dressing. What I need to feel is trust in myself. Trust that I can do a good job. Trust that I'll know what to say. Trust that even if I feel really uncomfortable I will see it through. Trust that I will keep going when things get hard. Trust that I won’t give up at the first hurdle. Trust that I'll stick to the plan to achieve my goal. Trust that I'll be there for others when I say I will. Trust that I'll turn up to the networking event even when I'm nervous. Trust that not only will I start the online course that I’ve just purchased, but I’ll finish it too. Trust that if I say I’m not drinking alcohol for a month or that I'm giving up sugar, I’ll stick to it. Trust that if I say I’ll be on time, I will be.

If you want to feel more confident, whether it’s at work or home you need to build this trust in yourself. Even if you feel that your confidence levels are at an all time low I believe that it’s possible to do this. I’ve created a workbook that will take you through the exercise I use with my one-to-one clients on my signature coaching programme to help you build this trust in yourself and thereby your confidence. One client told me that after she finished that session she felt like she could achieve anything. High praise indeed! Click here for access to the workbook to start building your confidence today.