What would you do if you trusted yourself?

I'm writing this in my sunny living room. If all were "normal" I should be working 200 miles from here. But it isn't, and I'm not, so I'm choosing to see the bright side. I did say I wanted to spend more time at home!

This week's theme is trust. I believe that trusting ourselves is at the heart of our self-confidence. At the moment when the world feels like it has gone more than a little crazy and so many things are beyond our control, keeping a firm sense that we can trust ourselves is so important.

So many of my friends who I’ve reached out to over the last couple of weeks have reminded me that I’m a strong woman and I can get through this. It’s so kind of them to say so, and when I stop and think about it there is plenty of evidence that they’re right.

There have been times though that I’ve failed to trust myself.

Times when I’ve known that a situation is wrong for me and I’ve not listened to my inner wisdom.

Fourteen years ago I knew that I needed to leave my job, but fear kept me there. I didn’t trust that voice that told me unequivocally that I needed to resign and just leave. No looking for another job first, I needed to get out. I didn’t listen and the decision ended up being taken out of my hands and it took months to put myself back together again.

A lot has changed since. I’ve changed.

I’m no longer the woman who doesn’t listen to her inner wisdom. I listen and I trust it. In that period of putting myself back together I learnt about Ignatian discernment. I learnt how to look at a situation, follow the Cycle of Discernment and move into action. I learnt how to apply it to my life and how to share it with others.

Seven years ago I found out I was to be made redundant from my dream job. I got through the rest of the working day in a daze and as I began to drive home in the sunshine I started to ask myself “So, what next? What do I do now”. And the answer was immediate. “Go freelance. Do what you’re doing now freelance, there’s a real need.”

I don’t know whether that answer was from me or from God, but I did know that I needed to listen and I needed to trust. So, over the next couple of days I applied the Cycle of Discernment to the question – do I go freelance or the alternative, try and find another full-time job? And after just a couple of days I knew beyond a doubt that what I needed to do next was trust myself and go freelance. This from someone who had never considered self-employment. Ever!

I listened, I trusted myself and I went for it. It was scary. I was out of my comfort zone for much of the time but I have grown and thrived as a result. There was and is a need for what I do and I’m so grateful that I’d learnt to trust myself by the time I got that answer to my question.

It was an answer to another question I asked myself two years ago that led me to qualifying as a coach and setting up my coaching practice. Even when I was training I knew beyond a doubt that what I wanted to do was to help other women to learn to trust themselves. To build their confidence and courage to create lives that are meaningful and fulfilling.

I’ve worked with some amazing women during that time. Women who wanted to change things about their lives and their way of being for the better.

I helped one client change career after 20 years in the same job in the same place. That takes guts to say it’s time to go. When she came to me she had no idea what she wanted to do next. She just knew it wasn’t what she was doing.

I coached her through questions to help her pinpoint what she did want from her new role and just as importantly what she definitely didn’t want. Having that list in front of her meant that when she saw an advert for a job that, spoiler alert she now has, she knew it was for her as it ticked everything on the list of what she wanted from her new job. I was able to coach her through the application process and interview and nearly six months on she’s loving it.

It took trust in herself to make that move. It took confidence and courage to move forward with the application.

I helped another client to trust her instincts that the way that “everyone” says you should be running your online business was not the way for her. She came off Facebook. She started calling her business a practice.

The confidence that trusting those instincts gave her, led her to changing who her ideal client is. She trusted herself and has a practice where she feels she can be of service. It’s both meaningful and fulfilling for her.

I had another client who was really struggling to trust herself to make good decisions. She still re-lived decisions that she’d made years ago wondering whether it had been right or berating herself for making what she now judged to be a poor decision. Through introducing her to the Cycle of Discernment I helped her to see that all decisions should be held lightly. That doesn’t mean not taking them seriously. Instead it means recognising that you’ve made the right decision for right now and things can and probably will change and if, and when, they do you’ll revisit that decision and move forward again.

I know that life is topsy-turvy for most of us right now. Things have changed dramatically and will change again. A lot feels out of our control.

For many of us we now have more time on our hands. Time at home that we didn’t expect. Time to think.

We have a choice. We can worry and brood about what may or may not happen or we could use the time to ask ourselves what we really want from life.

What would you do if you trusted yourself?

What sort of life would you create for yourself and your family?

I know that I’m so much clearer about what I want and how to move forward when I’ve had a chance to talk it over, especially with someone who has no vested interest in my situation or decisions.

This is why coaching is so powerful at this time when a lot of us are feeling overwhelmed and like we have little control.

With this in mind I’m offering one-off 90-minute coaching sessions to help you gain clarity and work out what action you need to take right now in the midst of lockdown. Or to help you to plan for when this is all over. These sessions are usually £150 but I’m offering them to members of my email list for £75 and people who aren’t on my list for £97.

I want to be able to help as many people as possible which is why I’ve halved the price and opened up my calendar. Email me at clare@clarewalshcoaching.com and let me know you’d like to book and we’ll set it up.

At this very strange and unprecedented time it would be so good if we could come out of it better able to listen to our inner wisdom and to trust ourselves.