When "it will be over by Easter" wasn't the end
This time three years ago I was making daily trips to the Christie hospital in Manchester for radiotherapy. It was exhausting, but the end was in sight.
When I think about my cancer treatment I don’t usually give much thought to my radiotherapy, as although very tiring, it didn’t feel as hard as the chemotherapy. I’m finding it playing on my mind a lot this year though. I couldn’t work out why until I realised that Easter falls the same weekend as it did when I was having radiotherapy.
My treatment was Monday to Friday over four weeks and as they work bank holidays that meant I had to go on Good Friday and Easter Monday. Mum and I had spent the last six months saying, “It will be over by Easter” to help us get through how hard it was and the fact that we were shielding when it felt like the rest of the world had managed to get back to normal life after the pandemic. I wrote in my Easter blog that year, “It turns out not quite over but the light at the end of the tunnel is almost blinding it’s so close now.”
I continued saying, “I love Easter. Not only is it the most important festival in the Christian calendar but it coincides with my favourite season. I love spring, the light evenings, the abundance of flowers and blossoms and the anticipation of the warmer weather or summer to come. This year I’m so very grateful to have reached this point. In some ways the coming weeks and months are still a little daunting as I recover, mentally and physically from gruelling treatment and adjust to a new way of being. Getting back to “normal” life with an immune system that is still compromised after months of shielding to keep myself safe is a big step but like I always say to my clients there is never a need to try to and leap across a river in one step, instead use the steppingstones to get across and take your time.”
Little did I realise how long a journey I still had. A BRCA2 diagnosis and two more major surgeries.
I’m sitting here with no breasts—a daily reminder of my cancer. Three years on from finishing treatment, I still deal with fatigue, and I’m on medication for life. There’s a realisation that it’s never really over (IYKYK).
I have to monitor myself for symptoms of recurrence. I have to advocate for myself with medical professionals, for my health and my quality of life. But, and it’s a big but, I also need to live.
That part didn’t come easily.
When I finished treatment, I thought I’d just be relieved. Instead, I felt lost, broken, and exhausted. I didn’t recognise myself anymore. I kept trying to get back to “normal,” but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was still so far away from who I used to be.
Then, a very wise woman shared something that changed everything. “You’re not the same, and never will be again, and that’s okay.”
It was like a light bulb exploded in my head.
I’m not the same, and never will be again, and that’s okay.
For the first time, I felt permission to stop trying to be the old me. Instead, I could ask: Who am I now and what do I want?
That moment shifted everything. It gave me a new passion and purpose: helping others navigate this same question after a major life event. I went back to study, completing a second diploma in therapeutic coaching. Now, I guide people who feel stuck in the in-between—after cancer, menopause, grief, relationship breakdowns, or any major change that’s left them feeling like a stranger in their own life.
I believe, with my whole heart, that no matter what life has dealt you, you get to choose what comes next.
You don’t have to go back to who you were before. You don’t have to stay lost. You get to rebuild a life that reflects the person you are now.
One client recently told me:
“I have re-found my whole and true self after working with Clare. My journey has truly transformed my life from a place of self-doubt and uncertainty to facing the future with confidence and hope.”
And I want this for you too.
If you’re standing at the edge of “what now?”, know this: you don’t have to figure it out alone.
I combine deep personal insight with potent therapeutic coaching tools to help you rebuild your confidence and create a life that truly reflects who you are now. I’m here to guide you every step of the way.
If you want to know more about how I can help there are links below or feel free to email me at clare@clarewalshcoaching.com.
In the meantime, I hope you have a very happy Easter. Whether Easter means the joy of the resurrection or Easter bunnies and chocolate eggs, or indeed both, we can share in the joy of the turning of the year, of new life, new birth, light and warmth.
When you're ready there are four ways I can help you to rediscover who you are now and move forward:
✔ Sign up for the "Who am I now and what's next?" VIP annual pass.
✔ Work with me 1-to-1 by booking a therapeutic coaching taster package for just £397.
90 minutes of powerful coaching, two weeks of unlimited email support and a follow up 30 minute session to keep up momentum.
✔ Join my free private facebook group, where I provide daily inspiration and advice to help you move forward.
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