Menopause brain made me do it
I nearly left my breasts behind.
Yes, you read that right. I nearly left my breasts behind in the drawer of my bedroom in a retreat house at a convent of all places. Menopause brain has a lot to answer for but that near miss isn’t one I ever expected!
Menopause can be tough. Instant menopause, or as I heard it described during menopause awareness week, crash menopause brought on by surgery or medication can be brutal. No slow build up to it. One day you’re fine, the next you’re dealing with hot flushes, brain fog, fatigue, itchy skin, achy joints – the list goes on. Couple that with, in my case, HRT not being an option thanks to two hormone positive breast cancers you end up doing things like nearly leaving your prosthetic breasts behind when you’re packing!
I can make light of it but the truth is I struggle with my post-menopause body and brain. It takes conscious effort to ensure that I’m supporting myself in the best ways I can both mentally and physically each and every day.
Ways I’ve found to help support myself on my own journey include:
Mindful self-compassion – asking myself what I need and then giving myself that.
Letting go of any guilt or shame around how I am in this phase of my life.
Owning how it is and being open with those around me whether that’s about brain fog or fatigue.
Asking for the help I need whether from family and friends or by advocating for myself with medical professionals.
Trying to make sure that I’m eating the rainbow every day when it comes to fruit and vegetables.
Doing regular exercise that makes my body feel good.
Getting outside and into nature.
Prioritising rest and sleep by doing things like trying to have a regular bedtime.
Listening to my body.
Making time for fun and creativity.
One of the most noticeable symptoms for those around me is the brain fog. You would not believe the number of times I have to stop part way through a sentence because I’ve lost my words. But I realised something important whilst speaking with my therapist. I’ve learnt to own my brain fog. I may not like it, but I’ve learnt to just say what’s going on. Whether I stop part way through a conversation with a friend, with someone in a shop, at a meeting or even whilst coaching. And whilst I may start my sentence with “Sorry, brain fog!”, what I go on to ask for is patience rather than forgiveness. And by being open about what the problem is I hope I’m helping to normalise it not just for myself but for others.
I know when it happens during a coaching session my female clients are often glad it’s not just them and we’ll have a laugh about it rather than it being a big issue or some kind of failing. In fact, often part of, if not all of, the reason that client is working with me is because of how perimenopause or menopause is affecting them. Sometimes it’s come along with other big life events like cancer, like mine did. Other times it’s coincided with a big promotion at work and the children leaving home.
One recent client could feel her brain beginning to slow down and could see how it was beginning to affect her and her lifestyle. She wanted to do something about the way she was thinking and behaving before it got worse. She saw it as a way to prepare for her next chapter. When she finished working with me she shared, “I have re-found my whole and true self after working with Clare. My journey has truly transformed my life from a place of self-doubt and uncertainty to now facing the future with confidence and hope.”
And that’s exactly what she wanted. To be able to move into her next chapter feeling in control and confident. And that’s what I want for you too.
I know how hard it is to say, “I’m struggling,” when you’re the one who usually has it all together.
You don’t have to keep holding it all in.
My therapeutic coaching taster package is for you if you want to feel calm, clear, and yourself again. Even if you're not quite sure who that is right now. Let’s figure it out together.
What do you get?
A 90 minute therapeutic coaching session where we'll work on whatever it is that is making you feel stuck, misaligned, unhappy or like it's just out of reach.
You'll then have two weeks of support via an app and email allowing you to keep in touch, ask questions, share wins, reach out for accountability.
We'll then meet on Zoom again for a 30 minute coaching session to see where you've got to, what's going on for you and work out next steps.
Only after that, and with your permission, will I contact you about the options to continue working together.
All the information you need is here. Or feel free to email me at clare@clarewalshcoaching.com with any questions and I’ll get back to you.