Crumpets, Horlicks and what you truly need today - the question that can turn any day around

Happy New Year! Let's start as we mean to go on.

I’ve been having therapy over the last six months or so. I’m not ashamed to admit it. After everything I’ve been through over the last three years having someone to talk it through with has helped enormously. It’s meant that I’ve been able to talk through some of the more traumatic moments of my treatment. In doing so I’ve remembered details that I’d forgotten.
 
I remember a day in the midst of my chemo when I woke up feeling so lousy that I found myself making a deal with my body. “I promise you” I said, “if we get up all I will expect you to consume today is crumpets and Horlicks.” And I managed to get myself out of bed and I kept that promise to myself. My mum had been amazing at cooking nourishing meals from the Royal Marsden Cancer Cookbook. Which I highly recommend by the way. But that day I knew even thinking about trying to eat anything other than crumpets would be too much.
 
I may not have remember this particular incident if it hadn’t been for a woman on Instagram who shared she was having chemo and knew all she wanted was Horlicks. It was years since she’d drunk it. She realised this because when she asked her husband to go out and buy some he looked at her in horror and said, “Only if you promise to drink it in the shed. I hate the stuff!” She had no idea he loathed it so much. When I commented on her post and shared my day when all I wanted was Horlicks and crumpets she said she was messaging him to pick up crumpets too.
 
It shouldn’t take something as drastic as chemo though for us to learn to give ourselves what we need. How often when you’re having a tough time do you take the time to check in with yourself and ask “what do I need right now?” It’s an incredibly powerful question and you do know the answer. The problem is we forget to ask the question.
 
I’ve recently re-started a habit that I used to have. In the back of my journal there is a page headed “What does Clare need?” and then a long and varied list of all the different things that can help me feel better in the moment. Why? Because when we have got ourselves into a fug, a tizzy, a low place, whatever you want to call it, we don’t always think clearly. It can be so easy to forget to ask ourselves what we need and instead use coping mechanisms that don’t necessarily help us feel better. Think over-spending, relying on alcohol or drugs, retreating and cutting ourselves off from other people to name but a few. If you have a lovely list of all the things you know make you feel better then when you are in that low or difficult moment you can remind yourself to ask what you need and choose something from your own personalised list of things that make you feel good.
 
My list includes:
·       A hot meal
·       An early night
·       A walk
·       Knitting
·       Ringing a friend
·       Planning a treat
·       Putting my favourite music on and singing
·       Time in nature
·       Watching something funny
·       Getting my art materials out and having a play
And lots more besides.
 
So next time you’re not having the best of days I encourage you to ask yourself what you need and then do your very best to give yourself that. Let’s start 2025 as we mean to go on, nurturing and supporting ourselves no matter what life throws at us.
 
If you are thinking about nurturing and supporting yourself more in the coming weeks I have space for one-to-one clients at the moment. Using my qualifications and experience as an integrative therapeutic coach and my lived experience as a cancer survivor I can help you to move from surviving to thriving no matter what life has thrown at you.
 
In the last year I’ve helped clients who have been bullied in the past to learn to trust themselves and others again. I’ve helped breast cancer survivors to let go of the guilt they’ve been carrying around and prioritise their needs and desires for a full and happy life in the midst of ongoing treatment side-effects. I’ve helped clients to get in touch with their inner child and find joy in day to day life. I’ve helped a client to learn to be happy again. I’ve helped a client to believe that she’s loveable and to learn to love herself.
 
You get to bring the whole of yourself to our sessions. If you are feeling stuck, trapped by your own limitations and self-sabotage I will help you to work out what’s going on, to make the unconscious, conscious and to move forward whether that’s at home, work or in your own business. Imagine what it would be like to truly believe that you are limitless.
 
If you would like to know more about my one-to-one programmes just email me at clare@clarewalshcoaching.com or if you’d like a taster, to see what it’s like to work with me without a long term commitment book yourself a jump-start.
 
Here’s to a happy and healthy 2025 giving ourselves what we need.