Holding things lightly
I combine the power of coaching with the pragmatism of the Cycle of Discernment with my clients. It's a pretty magic combination which is why I think describing myself as a life coach doesn't cover what I do for my clients nearly as well as telling you that I'm an inner wisdom whisperer.
An important part of the Cycle of Discernment is holding your decisions lightly. This doesn't mean not caring or not giving them the attention they deserve. Instead it means being willing to accept that things could and probably will change. I always think of it as holding a beautiful and delicate flower in the palm of your hand. It's precious but is best enjoyed in an open hand. If you close your hand over it, grasp it too hard it will be ruined, destroyed even.
When I have a big decision to make, one that is going to change something about my life for weeks, months or even years, I use the Cycle of Discernment (see, discern and move into action) to make that decision. Knowing that once that decision is made I’ll hold it in such a way that I’ll be open to change should circumstances alter and adjust course as necessary, makes it so much easier to make the decision in the first place. It moves you out of analysis paralysis - an endless and exhausting cycle of deciding.
Let me give you an example. Six and a half years ago I was working in my dream job. I loved everything about it. The work, the people, the organisation, the commute even. Then one sunny morning I got a phone call informing me that I was required to attend a consultation meeting about redundancy. The bottom fell out of my world. I got through the rest of the working day in a daze and at 4pm got into my car to drive home. As I pulled out of the car park I began to try to sort my thoughts and by the time I reached the motorway was asking myself useful questions. I'd been introduced to the Cycle of Discernment about seven years earlier and by this point had facilitated and directed a course that included it as part of the programme for several years.
I asked my inner wisdom, "So what do I do next?" and got an immediate answer. "Exactly what you're doing now but freelance. There's a need." It was completely unexpected. I'd not had a single thought about self-employment prior to this. Before I knew about the Cycle of Discernment I would have dismissed that thought out of hand. But now I knew better. So, over the next couple of days I went through the discernment process and when I'd finished knew beyond a doubt that this is what I had to do next. Not only that, but I believed that it had the potential to make me very happy. It was as scary as it was unexpected, but I knew I could trust myself. And, knowing that this answer, this decision would be held lightly, that I would continue to use the cycle of seeing, discerning and moving into action gave me the confidence to begin. To make a start. To take action. Before my knowledge of discernment I would have done one of two things - dismissed the idea as madness, far too risky and scary or got stuck in a cycle of deciding. In other words never really deciding and exhausting myself mentally and physically in the process.
What decisions could you make with more ease if you knew that you were going to hold that decision lightly? If you were going to treat it with reverence and serious contemplation and take action, but not squeeze the life out of it? If you knew you would be able to change course as necessary?
Does this sound like something you need in your life right now? A process to help you move into action towards a life that is fulling and fully aligned with your values? If so, book a free 20 minute exploratory call. During the call we’ll explore:
The life that you want to live.
What obstacles are currently stopping you.
What’s most important to make progress on first.
And then, if it feels right, how we could work together.
I'm more than happy to discuss payment plans too.
So, make a decision, book that call and start your journey to find your unique path to the life that lights you up now, not at some undefined point in the future!
