Lesson learnt
I run as much for my mental health as for my physical health. Running outside, especially by water reduces my stress and helps me think creatively. So why did I go five whole months without running this year? I finally persuaded myself to put my running shoes on and get myself out there in late April and was so glad I did. To do it I had to make myself accountable to two people who I knew would expect photographic evidence the following morning. When I woke up I really didn’t want to do it. I was tired, I had lots to do and it would be easier to just get stuck into the work rather than going out for that run. But, I’d promised to do it, so I did. My clothes were all ready to avoid procrastination and distraction, so off I went.
The sun came out and it was just lovely. Three minutes from my front door I'm in a wetland nature reserve and it’s gorgeous. As I ran through the trees admiring the fresh green of spring and hearing all of the bird song I asked myself why I’d left it nearly four months. And the answer came to me immediately. I’d let my winter brain hijack me. I have SAD, seasonal affective disorder and as a result I can find the long grey and dark winter months pretty tough. I did quite well keeping up the exercise and fresh air up to Christmas. In fact my last run had been on Christmas Eve. But, in the midst of the post-Christmas depths of winter I decided that running in the nature reserve wasn’t safe. I have never in all the time I’ve run there not felt perfectly safe. Whilst I was very good at keeping my winter anxieties at bay this year I didn’t spot this one. Usually in winter I question any rise in anxiety with “would I be feeling this way if it was May or June?”. This one though I didn’t spot for what it was and not only that, I allowed the feeling to carry on over into the light, bright days of spring.
As if to prove just how wrong my feelings had been, as soon as I realised what I’d done to myself I met four volunteers clearing the paths and tidying. People out and about keeping the place lovely for the wildlife and for people like me to enjoy. They cheered on my running efforts with as much enthusiasm as if I was about to cross a marathon finish line. I felt great. It cheered my soul.
So, lesson learned. Why am I sharing it now, nearly five months after the event? It came to mind again as I contemplate the change of season. My light box is now in daily use and getting outside in natural light every day is more important than ever. I’ll be making sure that I get out and enjoy the wonderful countryside on my doorstep as often as possible in the coming months and I won’t be letting my winter brain hijack me this year.
Is there a lesson you’ve learnt this year that you need to remember? How are you going to ensure that you do remember that lesson?
