I can’t believe that it’s two years ago since my website went live and I published my first blog after what felt like weeks of work and the steepest of tech learning curves. So much has changed in those last two years, a lot of which has been unexpected – yes covid-19 I’m looking at you! But, some of those changes have been planned and welcomed.

Last year, to mark the first birthday of the blog I re-shared the first blog I wrote. This year I want to highlight 12 blogs from the last year that I think contain little gems – advice that we all need to hear! I’ll link them all so that you don’t have to go hunting!

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In March I wrote about what I wanted to ensure that I experienced during the spring months - lockdown restrictions allowing. My list included:

• Posies of cut flowers from my garden

• Giving the garden a good spring tidy

• Savouring a cup of tea in the garden (even if I have to wrap up to do it)

• Learning to cook a new seasonal recipe

• Vases of daffodils and tulips

• Eating a meal outside

• Celebrating Easter

• Rediscovering my spring wardrobe

• Starting to run again and getting out for weekly runs in the nature reserve so I can watch the season change and develop

• Learn to recognise even more bird songs

• A walk on the beach (I’ll be relying on lockdown restrictions to lift for this one!)

Despite having one of the coldest springs on record I’ve managed most of these except the posies of cut flowers from my garden.

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At the moment we’ve had a lot of our normal freedoms curtailed and so yes we are waiting for permission to do lots of things that we’d not even think about normally. I originally wrote that sentence twelve months ago. Who could have predicted that twelve months on we’d still be waiting for permission to do some things?! But where else in your life are you waiting for permission?

I know I’ve been very guilty of this in the past and I catch myself sometimes even now. Waiting for permission to go ahead and start working towards the dream that I have for myself. Waiting for permission to pursue the life that I know will make me happier. The life that lights me up.

Who do I think is going to give me permission? Whose approval am I looking for? I’m a grown woman, proud of my independence and yet it still catches me out. This sense that I need permission to create the life that lights me up. To lead my life in a way that will be fulfilling and happy for me.

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Last week’s podcast episode was all about whether or not you believe in luck. One of the dangers I pointed out of over belief in luck is that we can start putting everything good that happens to us down to luck and chance rather than acknowledging the hard work, dedication, experience, skill, tenacity, talent or creativity that got us there. We listen to people telling us how lucky we are to live in this house, have that job, be in this relationship and if we’re not careful we start to believe that it’s all down to luck and pure chance too.

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We're living through an unprecedented time. The things that we thought were certain turned out not to be. Whoever, other than in the pages of a dystopian novel, imagined closed borders, grounded flights, closed schools and shops, closed restaurants and pubs, people working from home, furloughed staff?

I wrote those words in the middle of May last year. Who knew that then end of April 2021 we’d still be waiting for things to return to some semblance of normal? Perhaps it was a good thing we didn’t know, making it easier to be optimistic and deal with each new curve ball that 2020 threw at us!

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Last year I wrote about how fear of failure holds us back and I’ve decided it’s time to revisit it as over the last few weeks I’ve spoken to so many women who, having added twelve months plus of lockdowns and restrictions into the mix, are feeling even more fearful of failure than ever. But, after what we’ve all been through and are still going through, I think it’s more important than ever to be moving forward rather than holding ourselves back.

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This time last year I began my Easter blog with, “This is my favourite time of year. I love Easter, but this is going to be an Easter like no other.” Little did I realise that twelve months on Easter isn’t going to be very different to last year. I’ll still be attending church services virtually thanks to social distancing rules but at least I’ll be with my mum this year. This time last year there were no support bubbles so I’m truly grateful for the fact mum and I can celebrate Easter together. And of course this year we know that we are on the journey out of the pandemic. We have a road map. I’m not sure how I would have coped if as I wrote last year I’d realised that this Easter wouldn’t be so very different!

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I’m a great believer in journaling. It helps me to sort out my thoughts, to tap into my subconscious, to come up with solutions to problems and connect with my own wisdom. I hear so many women though saying that they'd love to journal but they just don't know where to start. Hopefully this will give you a few helpful pointers!

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Three national lockdowns and the local lockdowns in between have taught me to be even more appreciative of mother nature and the green spaces around me. During February I even began to teach myself to recognise different bird songs. Something I always thought too difficult, but it turned out to be far easier than I thought and has brought me enormous amounts of joy.

Over the last few weeks I’ve got back into the habit of taking a daily walk. Something I’d let lapse during the two weeks we had snow and ice in January and had to make a conscious effort to start up again during February.

It feels like the world is brimming with life, energy and colour after the winter. That’s how I want to feel too.

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There are lots of things that hold us back from doing what we really want to do but the one that comes up so often in coaching sessions is worrying about what other people think.

I hear clients telling me (and themselves) stories about lack of money and time or knowledge but when we dig a little deeper those things can be overcome and then the truth surfaces. A fear of what other people will think is holding them back. A fear of what other people will say.

And it’s not always the big things like changing career or moving home. I’ve spoken to women who’ve held themselves back from trying a new hobby, buying a new car or at least the car they really want, changing their hair, dressing differently, drinking less alcohol, having a different sort of holiday than they usually do. All because they are worried about what other people will think or say.

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I have a lot of clients who tell me that they don’t like change, that they don’t cope with it well. But, more often than not it turns out to be a story they’ve been telling themselves for years rather than a truth! When I ask, “Oh, so you don’t like going on holiday?” or “You’ve never wanted to change job or move house or leave home or go to university…?” it starts my client thinking. The truth is that lots of us find some changes in our lives uncomfortable but change can also be longed for, it can be exciting, it can be a relief from boredom and monotony. But when we keep repeating the words, “I don’t like change” to ourselves, then guess what, we make change uncomfortable, we make ourselves fearful and we make things harder and less enjoyable that they could be.

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What does it mean to be brave?

Often I think we see or hear this word and think of heroic action. Of doing what needs to be done in dangerous circumstances. Of medals awarded to members of the emergency services and armed forces. But there is also everyday bravery. Those acts of courage necessary to move our lives forward. Asking the person we like whether they’d like to go for coffee. Asking for a pay rise. Applying for the promotion. Deciding to change career. Speaking up in a meeting.

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As regular readers will know I have seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and this year with the added stress of the pandemic it’s been a bit like dealing with winter on steroids! A whole other layer of crazy! As such I thought it may be a good time to revisit the blog I wrote on hygge last winter as I think nurturing ourselves is needed more than ever right now. I have friends and clients struggling with winter who’ve never had an issue with it before.

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Happy New Year!

Wishing you a happy, healthy and prosperous 2021.

I’m planning on having an epic year. Yes, my word for 2021 is epic! I want to have an epic year helping women to transform their lives. I want them to flourish as they grow their confidence, clarity and courage. I want their confidence to shine as they learn to trust themselves and connect with what they really want from life!

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Happy Christmas!

I hope that despite restrictions and all the other difficulties of this year you are enjoying a Christmas that is meaningful for you and your loved ones.

As I write this we’re still a couple of weeks away from Christmas day and my thoughts have turned to my word for the year for 2021.

Those of you who read my blog regularly will know that instead of setting new year resolutions I choose an intention for the year. I have nothing against new year resolutions. In fact, I’m pretty good at keeping them when I do set them. No, it’s because I’d rather set an intention for the whole year. A word to guide, remind and inspire me.

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Procrastination is a topic that comes up regularly. I hear friends and clients asking themselves why they put off the things they know they need to do, even the things they want to do. So why do we do it?

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Doing anything for the first time is nerve-wracking. I think we often forget that or we convince ourselves that it’s only us that gets nervous and everyone else is just fine!

I’ve shared more than once that I enjoy public speaking but I didn’t always and every time I face a public speaking first I have those first-time nerves. I’m writing this the day I delivered my first masterclass as a guest speaker. I enjoyed it which I knew I would but yesterday and this morning there were definite first-time nerves. I now know that the best way to deal with nerves is to reframe them as excitement.

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I love this time of year as we prepare for Christmas. Christmas this year though is going to be very different. Things that we normally look forward to won’t happen and family gatherings are going to be smaller. But in the wise words of my eight-year-old nephew, “The most important thing is that we keep granny safe!” I have to admit to feeling a huge amount of pride when he uttered those words!

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Last week we were talking about the cost of perfectionism to our happiness and confidence. My desire to be perfect meant:

• I held back from things I really wanted to do.

• Things that should be fun lost their enjoyment.

• I was in a state of self-induced fear far too often.

• My anxiety levels were high all of the time – anxiety had become a habit – my go to emotion.

• I felt guilty about things that just didn’t matter.

• I didn’t recognise or celebrate my successes because they were never quite good enough!

• I didn’t believe I was good enough.

All of which resulted in my confidence being far lower than it should have been.

I’ve stopped striving for perfection and one of the really helpful methods I used to do this was to make “Start before you’re ready” my new motto.

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I worked with a lovely client who by the end of our time together was refusing to even say the word perfect. In fact, when she wrote me a testimonial she wrote it as p*****tionism! That really made me smile because she’d recognised just how detrimental the idea that she had to be perfect all of the time or she would be letting down everyone was to her happiness and well-being.

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